She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize