Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
