brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
