Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
