i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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