I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
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