I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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