I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
