Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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