YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
