smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
