Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
