Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
