A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
