where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Randomize
