trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
