Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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