im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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