Dude my mom stole all your condoms
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
