Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
My vagina just clenched in fear
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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