She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
