I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
