OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm passing your future prison.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
