I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
