Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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