He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Randomize
