The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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