i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
