So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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