My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
