Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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