We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
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