that's an acceptable place to lick
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
