Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my being single is dangerous.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I think i got beer on your cat.
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