brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize