Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Randomize