Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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