we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
