we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Randomize
