Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I have aggressive nipples.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize