Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
