I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
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