I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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