i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Randomize
