Cold hands, warm shart.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
