Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
