my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
