Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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