Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
