Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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