I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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