Whatcha textin bout Willis?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
