walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize