I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
