ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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