I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize