You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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