just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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