this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
