I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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