Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
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