I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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