this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
