In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
