I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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