i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
