how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
