My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
