Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
As shirtless as possible
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
