The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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